Wow. What a crazy couple of weeks I’ve had. As you can imagine, because I was so busy, I did not accomplish as much as I wanted. However, I’m beginning to realize that no matter how much I accomplish in a week – it will never be enough. I will always wish I could have done more. This goes back to one of the themes in my last post, about using my free time lazily instead of productively. For some reason, when I have a spare moment/hour/day, the thing that seems most appealing to me is sitting in my pajamas and playing The Sims 3 for hours on end (often while smoking marijuana). When I get busy again, all I can think about are the things “I wish” I had time for – like this blog, various research, meditation, yoga – the list goes on and on. This is going to be a major part of my reflection today.
First let’s do a quick recap on my goals (for a complete list of my current goals, see my “Goals” page). Not smoking is going great. I’ve been utilizing my patches and controlling my cravings quite effectively. I have not been perfect, however. My husband and I have cheated on a couple of outings with friends (where, of course, drinking was involved). But I have to say, I have never been the kind of person who could just smoke occasionally and then stop. If I bum a cigarette from someone, chances have always been that I will buy my own pack within the hour. The fact that I have been able to have one or two here and there and still stay away from purchasing a pack of my own is excellent. I am more than happy with that compromise. Admittedly, one evening my husband did come home with a pack and we smoked it together over a couple of days and then continued to restrain ourselves. While I would love to say today is 19 days without any cigarettes, I still consider my efforts a success in this area.
Self-care is not going great. My skin is looking pretty good but as a result I have been less motivated to wash my face at night or brush my teeth. I have still not practiced getting up to an alarm and with the time change my great new waking up habits have disappeared. I am starting to think I should just move this goal to the “upcoming goals” section considering my current lack of intention. I still have the desire to rise early, but the underlying goal is really productivity. I feel so disorganized that I am finding motivation to be very difficult to come by. I haven’t been doing so well with drinking water either, but my work just installed a new water cooler that should help facilitate that process. As I will be at work much more often in the coming months, it seems even more likely that this will make a difference.
Obviously I haven’t been keeping up on my blog posts and, even though my freezer still has plenty of food in it from February’s OAMM menu, I’ve been really bad about eating out lately. I still feel thinner than I’ve felt in a long time, so that’s great. However, I would like to be able to say the same about my health and energy . . . So, I see all these things I just listed and my instinct is to feel like a failure. Blog post after blog post I have to fess up that I am not accomplishing these things that I supposedly want to accomplish (keep in mind that I warned you this might happen)! What is my problem?!? On the other hand, I made a promise to be gentle on myself and focus on the good things. That is possible to do – I mean I’ve almost completely quit smoking! That is a major feat! This is also the first week I missed a blog post all year so I’ve really been doing great if you put it in perspective.
I did choose a habit tracker that I liked while on vacation: Habit Judo. It isn’t the prettiest habit tracker out there, but I really like the way it incorporates a point system to reward yourself and unlock new habits. I was going to start using it on 3/9 with the initial habits of: Record Habits, Check Planner, and 4+ Glasses of Water or Tea per Day. I know you can sense the “but” coming here – I never started. The no wake-up caffeine goal is going somewhat well. I have not bought coffee or made it in the house in weeks. Unfortunately, last week I think I stopped for coffee on my way to work every day. Part of my excuse for that is breakfast – I need to keep breakfast in the house so I don’t have an excuse to stop on my way to work.
I am having a little mini-revelation as I write what was supposed to be a “quick recap” of my goals: There is too much on my plate! While on my “Goals” page, it appears at first glance that I am only taking on 3 goals right now, that is obviously not the case. If I look at the progress I summarized above I can see all of the following goals represented:
- Quit Smoking
- Self-Care (wash face & brush teeth at night)
- Drink More Water & Tea (4+ glasses/day)
- Blog (at least once/week)
- Eat at Home/Seasonal/Healthy (including OAMM meals)
- Use a Habit Tracker
- Take Time to Plan Each Day (using Franklin-Covey planner)
- Quit Wake-Up Caffeine/Daily Coffee
- Practice the Alarm/Wake Up at 6am
That’s a lot! Some of these are not even mentioned on the “Goals” page, nor do they have devoted blog posts associated with them. Many of them are things that I mentioned in a post somewhere along the line and then kept up on my weekly progress from that point on. This is not even considering my December goals which have pretty much become habit and all my desired upcoming goals! I think I need to regroup. Although all that reminds me of is the fact that I am constantly planning all these things I am going to do and never actually following through. Hmph.
I really wanted to write a post today on the theme of work and jobs. I had an incredibly busy work week at a job that brings me little to no satisfaction or pleasure. It is only going to get worse as this is my last 4-day week before my coworker goes on maternity leave and I have to take on a 5th work day and basically do two jobs for the next few months. I very strongly believe in the concept of doing what you love and have always wanted to find a way to make this work in my life. My plan today, after recapping, was to go back through some of my research on the subject and then write about it here, possibly creating a plan to move in that direction. Instead I think I will spend a little bit of time recapping/revising my goals and planning for the upcoming week. Then I will go back through my research and perhaps post an additional blog this evening or later this week.
It feels great to catch up and get a post out into the world. Not sure how many of you are listening/reading out there – but I would love to hear about any goals, obstacles, or suggestions any of you out there in the blog-o-sphere might have. There is always strength in numbers!